Pieces (1982).
This movie is really hard to put into words, but I’m going to give it the ol’ college try.
Pieces is the tale of a boy who gets caught by his mother while putting together a jigsaw puzzle of a naked woman, so he chops her head off. When the cops come to investigate, they find him cowering in a closet, as if someone else committed the horrific crime. Solid start, I must say. 40 years later, he emerges (dressed like the 1940’s noir character The Shadow for some reason) on a college campus, putting the same ratty puzzle together while collecting the body parts of attractive young women.
“Right now we’re just buying clothes without labels and trying them on for size.”
- Detective Bracken
You have to be in the right mindset to watch Pieces. This movie is BONKERS. If you go into it with the mindset that you’re doing to be seeing a serious slasher film, you’re going to have a bad time. The dialogue was originally in Spanish (it’s original title translates to ‘The Night Has 1,000 Screams’), so it’s dubbed (hilariously) and the acting is atrocious. The story makes zero sense. Grab your alcoholic beverage of choice, smoke some weed, and gather with some friends (safely, of course) and you’ll have an awesome time.
The gore effects are quite good. The killer’s weapons of choice are a chainsaw and a knife, so you see all the steel-on-limb action you can handle. Like many 80’s slashers, most of the victims are attractive, topless females.
The most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a waterbed, at the same time.
- Some female student, ripe for the killing
There are some things that happen in this movie that cannot be explained and are just absolutely batshit crazy. The police allow a student named Kendall to just…be part of the team that is attempting to catch this serial killer (team is a loose term here, because it consists of one tennis pro-turned-policewoman named Mary Riggs who is undercover posing as the school tennis coach, two cops who spend all of their time at the station doing other things, and this kid).
Another great example - at one point, Mary is sneaking around the gymnasium listening for odd sounds. Out of the dark jumps a blue jumpsuit wearing Bruce Lee clone, who kicks at her a few times for no good reason. While on the ground, Mary punts Bruce Clone in the sack, and he falls to the ground until Kendall runs over and picks him up. Here’s the actual dialogue written:
Kendall: “Oh, hey, it's my Kung Fu professor. What's the story, Chao?”
Chao: “Ohhh, I am out jogging and next thing I know I am on ground! Something I eat, bad chop suey. So long!”
Kendall: “Take it easy!”
Mary laughs it off and the “Kung Fu professor” (whatever the fuck that means) is never seen again. So weird, but so hilarious.
“While we out here fumbling with that music... the lousy bastard was in there, KILLING HER! BASTARD! BAAAAASTAAARD! BASTAAARD!”
- Mary Riggs
I mean…a girl skateboards into a glass pane and it just cuts away, never to be seen again. The killer’s chainsaw is found by the police, and he has it again in the next scene. This thing is full of gaffes that will have you laughing all night long. Oh, and the final shot of the movie? It makes absolutely zero sense and seems like it’s out of a different movie entirely, but I promise you’ll be talking about it as the credits roll. I know I’ll never forget it.
Grindhouse Releasing put a lot into the Blu-ray set, you have to hand it to them. In addition to a fantastic 4K transfer from the original 35mm can, you get two cuts of the film (the American version at 83 minutes and the Spanish version at 86 minutes). The best thing about the Spanish cut is that it adds the original score - the cut footage is really nothing special, unless you care about watching this stupid killer put his fucking 40 year old jigsaw puzzle back together CONSTANTLY. Like…dude, just put it together once and keep it together. It’s less than 100 pieces total.
“The killer is either someone who is on or near the campus!”
- A super smart detective
The set also includes the soundtrack to the film, a commentary by film“red herring” Jack Taylor, the full-length documentary 42nd Street Memories (which doesn’t have anything to do with Pieces, but is a fantastic doc about the New York Grindhouse scene), and more. It’s a really solid set and Grindhouse Releasing should get a lot of credit here.
Overall, I had a great time with this. Like I said, if you’re in the right mindset, this film is a blast and it’ll play great with a crowd.
