Sidekicks (1992).
Read from box
Sidekicks is one of those films that I had always wanted to see when I was little, but never got to rent. When I was at my mom’s, she would rent us films more targeted towards an even younger audience, since when it hit rental shelves, my brother was around 8 or 9, and when I was at my dad’s, he was already renting stuff like Under Siege and Van Damme films to watch, so this one kind of got left in no-kid’s land.
The story is about a kid named Barry (Jonathan Brandis) who reminded me a lot of myself back then, except certainly not as dreamy as Jonathan Brandis. A dorky kid who really wanted to participate in sports, but was limited because of asthma. So I immersed myself in comic books and art. Barry constantly daydreams about being sidekicks with Chuck Norris in his various adventures - as a ninja, as a commando, even as a western gunslinger. This is getting Barry in trouble at school, so his dad (Beau Bridges) takes him to a karate dojo to sign up for lessons. They picked the wrong dojo. The sensei at the dojo is a guy named Kelly Stone (Joe Piscopo), a decorated karate douche who dresses the kid down and worst of all, insults his hero by saying he’d kick Chuck Norris’s ass.
After Barry starts getting into it with a school bully named Randy (who, of course, happens to be a disciple of Kelly Stone) after hitting on Lauren, a girl they both like, his teacher hooks him up with her uncle, Mr. Lee, an old man who runs a local Chinese restaurant who also happens to know martial arts. Through training montages, Mr. Lee gets Barry ready for a big karate tournament, which will put every member of the team to the test, including a surprise entrant.
This is old school, corny fun. It’s got a couple of things going for it. First, the daydreams are actually really well done, they’re action packed while not being too violent, because they are, afterall, being imagined by a young kid. As new people enter Barry’s life, they become part of the daydreams. For example, once he meets Kelly Stone, he’s all of a sudden the villain in his imagination, leading to some culturally insensitive moments that I still find really funny. They’re also very goofy, like when Chuck Norris and Barry are standing side-by-side in a jungle river, just pumping rounds out of chain guns, but no one is really getting shot and they’re instead getting blasted into trees in their underwear. It’s very inoffensive fun aimed at the correct audience. It’s essentially a mashup between Karate Kid and Last Action Hero.
Jonathan Brandis does well in the role, although it’s hard to take a kid that good looking as some nerd that no one would want to talk to and everyone laughs at. And when I say everyone, I mean it. Although it’s not far-fetched to think about kids at school being dickheads, it was a little jarring that the audience at a respected karate tournament would turn on the kid for no reason. As an actor, Brandis’s story was a sad one. I remember him being a real ‘it’ kid after starring in this and then being cast on the Spielberg produced Seaquest. I never had any interest in watching that show but you couldn’t avoid the ads. The kid was everywhere, from magazine covers to posters on girls walls. Yet, after Seaquest was canceled, his career never really went anywhere. Battling depression when his role in the 2003 flop Hart’s War was severely cut, he killed himself at age 27. Beau Bridges is really great as his father, a man who works a bit much but genuinely wants to be a good, supportive father. It’s a 90’s kid movie, so of course Barry’s mom is dead, but there’s a romance thread between his dad and teacher, so dad’s going to be alright. The late, great Mako plays Mr. Lee, a charismatic trickster who teaches Barry karate and how to feel heroic on his own, and the always charming Danica McKellar, Winnie on The Wonder Years, plays Barry’s love interest. Jonathan Brandis guest starred on an episode of The Wonder Years a year prior. And of course Joe Piscopo is just hamming it up as Kelly Stone, a man happy to wear the heel chip on his sleeve as he takes cheap shots at his opponents and derides his students in public. Finally, Chuck Norris is here as Chuck Norris - once you’ve seen one Chuck performance, you’ve seen them all.
This film was set in Houston and was produced by Houston’s Gallery Furniture legend, Mattress Mack. If you don’t know the Mattress Mack story, there are documentaries about the guy, but in short he’s a rags to riches personality that made his fortune in the Houston furniture scene because of his energetic ads. Eventually, he got Chuck Norris to star in some of those ads, always ending with “…saves you money!”. It’s also directed by Chuck Norris’s brother, Aaron Norris, who directed a bunch of lower budget stupid Norris films back in the day, like Forest Warrior, in which he plays a shape-shifting mountain man who teams up with kids to stop evil lumberjacks, and Top Dog, a 1995 film that sees Chuck Norris and a big shaggy dog taking on the klu-klux-klan.
Not only did Vinegar Syndrome release this, they released it in a deluxe 4K package, which comes with both Blu-ray and 4K UHD discs. I watched the 4K on my Sony OLED and it looked great, although a little noisy in the darks. The packaging on this thing is amazing, with a big 4K magnet clasp box with a slipcovered disc inside and a 40 page book featuring essays and other fun stuff. On the discs, we’ve got two commentary tracks - one featuring the director Aaron Norris and the other featuring Joe Begos (director of Christmas Bloody Christmas), which is a fun, unexpected addition. There are also over two hours worth of interviews with producers and other people who worked on the film, as well as the original trailer and a 1992 promo reel.
Side note. When I watch films like this, I often think about how I would remake it today. Storylines, actors, etc. When I think about films like this being made in 1992, there were a bevy of actors to choose from. With actors like JCVD, Arnold, Sly, and even Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris even seems like kind of a third stringer for his era. But the thing is, if this were to be made today and a kid was infatuated with an action hero, who would it be? The Rock is the closest that comes to mind, and he’s not even really an action star like he could be. Vin Diesel? An Avenger?
