Dark Tower (1989).
“There’s no way, there’s no goddamn way. There’s something screwy here.”
Directed by Freddie Francis and Ken Wiederhorn (under the dual-pseudonym “Ken Barnett”)
Written by Robert J. Avrech
Starring Michael Moriarty, Jenny Agutter, Theodore Bikel, and lots and lots of shots of elevator shafts
1. (The Stage)
A building is being erected in Barcelona, Spain. Unfortunately, it’s sort of haunted by the architect’s dead husband, who can make the building do wacky things. The architect, a detective (who thinks he’s a psychic because he guessed a number and a color correctly), and a ghost hunting psychiatrist spring into action to try to find out what’s going on.
2. (The Good)
We’ve exceeded the falling dummy budget.
I always want to find something good about films I consume, but with Dark Tower, it was very, very hard to think of something I liked. I will say that the premise (which is not a new one) is always really interesting to me, but it really needs the right director and story to make it work. So many cool things could go wrong in a haunted high-rise that’s under construction!
There’s a shot near the end with a body that looked pretty cool (although it made zero sense), and the body of the husband floating around with blackened eyes looks spooky enough, but the way it’s used is completely laughable.
3. (The Bad)
“Aaaaaaah!”
This is a PG-13 film through and through. It just doesn’t lean into it’s premise like it could have, and a film like this had the potential to become a real cult classic. Take the detective who’s sort of a low-key psychic. Just make him a powerful entity. Use the premise of a haunted high rise to give us some memorable kills and really go for the jealous ghost, angry at his widow! Add some suspense! Add some gore! Add some nudity! Instead, we get off-screen kills that are not at all gory, we get a few lights flickering and a few shots of a ghost just disappearing, and we get a bunch of POV shots that seem ridiculous.
The acting is awful, especially from the lead, Michael Moriarty. The direction is nothing special, which is predictable considering the film changed directorial hands halfway through. The editing is straight up bad, recycling many shots to make scenes longer and showing us the same elevator shaft shot upwards of ten times.
4. (The Ugly)
How many spelling errors can you find? I see at least two!
Corduroy jackets with elbow patches!
MS DOS screens filled with typos!
Getting sealed into walls! If only they had the budget to squirt blood through cracks in the walls. That could have looked so cool.
5. (The End)
Super convincing monster, totally not a rubber suit.
Despite the royal treatment that Vinegar Syndrome gives it’s discs, this one is simply a dud. I found it tedious to get through and thought it lacked the teeth that a genre film like this needs to have. I will say that I’d be up for a remake - there’s a lot you can do with a haunted high rise, given the budget and the balls to make it happen the right way.
As for the extras, Vinegar Syndrome provided a documentary called “Dark Inspirations”, which is an interview with the special effects artist Steve Neill. You also get a promotional still gallery, if that’s your thing.
