Martial Law (1991).
Directed by Steve Cohen
Written by Richard Brandes
Starring Cynthia Rothrock, Chad McQueen, David Carradine, and Dominos Pizza
1. (The Stage)
“Now I don’t look like a cop because there’s a girl standing next to me.”
Two ass-kicking martial artist cops named Sean and Billie (you know, that kind of cop that only existed in the early 90’s) are working hard to clean up the streets, but Dalton Rhodes isn’t making it easy on them. He’s a Kung Fu master who’s running a “cartel for hire” business out of his dojo, and one of his students is Sean’s idiot brother, Michael. Things just got personal.
2. (The Good)
David Carradine in…”Kill Dalton”.
The “good” really depends on what kind of movie you’re looking for.
There’s a scene in this film that takes place at a bar. Two plain clothes cops are standing out front, waiting for Sean. When he arrives, they say, "Faster Brown is inside. It’s packed in there, it’ll be a bloodbath if we walk in there and try to take them with guns.” Billie, his female sidekick/love interest, walks up, because “They’ll never expect I’m a cop if I walk in with a girl.”…okay, Sean. The two of them walk in and spend zero time together anyway, before flashing a badge and just beating everyone into submission without the help of the two cops holding their dicks in the parking lot. That’s the kind of movie this is.
The dialogue is bad, the acting is bad, the fight scenes that Cynthia Rothrock isn’t in are bad…this is a typical early 90’s DTV action movie. If you don’t know by now what you’re getting just by looking at the cover, watch more movies.
The main bad guy, Dalton, is apparently the master of the one point palm exploding heart technique, a fine precursor to his role as Bill in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill.
My favorite character was Vincent Craig Dupree as Faster Brown. He was truly hamming it up every second he was on screen and the giddy look on his face just made my day.
3. (The Bad)
Is that Shawn Michaels?
Sean and Billie are terrible police officers. Almost every time they’re on screen, they risk their own lives and the lives of their fellow officers because of how reckless they are. Sean walks into a jewelry store robbery without weapons while dressed up as a Dominos delivery man. He doesn’t appear to have any kind of plan, but he starts his assault on the perps anyway. These are armed men with guns. Luckily for Sean, the men don’t know how to actually use the guns. The terrible risks are then championed by their captain, who is delightfully making faces outside of the store.
Again, this is the kind of movie this is. If this isn’t your bag, the entire movie is going to feel bad. It’s got all of the usual tropes from this era, from the homophobic jokes played for laughs to the completely inept bad dudes who should win based on their numbers, but don’t because they suck and choose to fight people one at a time.
I was actually pretty let down by the action in this. The punches and kicks don’t feel like they hit hard and the cardboard cutout bad guys aren’t really dispatched in interesting ways. Punch, kick, trip, cuff, rinse, repeat.
4. (The Ugly)
Who is this fucking idiot in the oversized suit shooting at?
The outfits are the epitome of ugly. We’ve got red sweatpants paired with a leather jacket, Cynthia Rothrock kicking ass while wearing what looks like a jacket from 1776, curly mullets, pounds of fingerless gloves, and lots and lots of jean jackets.
5. (The End)
Faster Brown.
I wasn’t impressed with Martial Law. The fight scenes were bland and weren’t well filmed, the cinematography was paint-by-numbers, the characters weren’t endearing, and the bad guy was exactly what you’d expect. This is a PG-13 movie that probably could have benefited by turning the violence knob way up. In the end, I was just kind of bored. There are many other Cynthia Rothrock movies that are better than this.
The Extras
This is a Vinegar Syndrome release, so of course the presentation is awesome. It features a new 4K scan from the original 35mm negatives, so Martial Law has never looked better. The disc also comes with Martial Law II: Undercover, but based on my indifference with this one, I’m not sure I’ll get to it anytime soon.
We also get a few featurettes. Declaring Martial Law: The Birth of a Female Action Star (which is a bit misleading because Cynthia Rothrock had been acting in kickass action roles since the mid-80’s), and Under the Law: How a Hit Became a Franchise (this focuses on Martial Law II, so I haven’t watched it yet).
It’s also got silent outtake scenes from Martial Law and the original trailers for both films.
